April 2009
FML
Fuck getting the shit stick. FUCK IT. I’m not just blaming you, so stop acting like i fucking am. I blame BOTH of you. And the way BOTH of you handled this. I can’t believe this. Well actually I can since it happens all the fucking time.
Apr 30th
Spiral
Going down down down. Spinning. Spinning down into the abyss. Choking, sputtering. Losing all control. Pulling me down. Swallowing me. Eating me alive. I try to struggle. I try to breathe. But everything just swims back, back all around. It’s all catching up. All of it. All at once. Must struggle to stay abouve water. Can’t let it win. Can’t.
Apr 27th
“Birthday? Why didn’t you say so? Here, I’ll pop out of a cake...”
– kyle-mistry
Apr 22nd
“Evey: I don’t want you to die! V: That, is the most beautiful thing you...”
– V for Vendetta
Apr 21st
Maybe
Would you dance with me? Would you dance? Would you spin me round and pull me close? Would I let you? Hair done up, make-up done. Dress whirling under the lights. Tux clean and perfect. Hands grasping. Fools for the music, fools for each other. Would you dance with me? Would you dance?
Apr 20th
Counting
How many times must this happen. Once?Twice? Three times? SHouldn’t I get some kind of solace in this? Isn’t there some way I can know for sure. I think I’ve sorted my feelings. But what about them. How do I know what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling? There’s no way to know. But they could at least give me a hint.
Apr 14th
“I say: You’re such a liar. :) Paul says: lol I’m a cute...”
– MSN Convo.
Apr 11th
007
Still crouched. Still hoping. Did he see me? Did he catch the movement? I don’t want to run. Not again. Not yet. Glance around. There’s a short metal bar. A yard away maybe? I will not run again yet. I wouldn’t make it. I hear rustling. He’s getting up. But is he coming over here? Are there others? Inhale. Exhale. Silence. A grumble. A snarl. Risky business. Life or death? A gurgle. Getting...
Apr 3rd
006
Low. Quick. Staying in the shadows. They have no sense of time. Some are up. Some sit or lay wherever they fall. Waiting, like resting. But not. Then getting back up. There’s plenty of debris to hide behind. But just one seeing me. Just one. And I’m doomed to running again. Until I can slip away. But who knows if I can make My ankles still throb. Dash. Roll. Silence. I wonder if he saw me?
Apr 2nd