Take a Bow

Basically copypaste from my journal on dA:

tis long but yea…

To start with, I woke up this morning to my dad slamming open my door yelling at me to get up because it seems I set my alarm a little bit off and did not get up exactly at 9am. I believe it was around 9:20 when this happened.


So I basically started the day wishing I’d get hit by a bus. Great right?


Next I get up and start cleaning house and shit. and then start cleaning my room and my desk specifically since it got messy when I left for Cali what with all the packing and such. He comes over and yells at me some more then tells me to clean my desk and room. And to report to him when I’m done..which I didn’t by the way, but that comes next.


So I’m cleaning and everything and then we get a text telling us to call qwest for important info. Which turned out to be I went over on the minutes we had on the cell. shitfuck. He goes OFF on me. but I told him I’d pay for it. no biggie. I’m sorry etc.


NOT good enough. He really flips one. And I’m just sitting there taking it basically. I went over by an hour and 27 minutes I guess. And He starts off and asks me why I’m using it at home. and why I have it at all, shit like that. I can’t tell him I use the phone to take to people in different states and shit because that’s a whole new reason to be yelled at. But he starts yelling about how dumb I am, and how dumd using the cell to talk to people is, and so on, and so on. I pull out my wallet and give him the money for the charges and go back inside.

My mom had tried to defend me, because this shit was stupid.
It seems after I left they really got into again. starting with him asking why the fuck she was defending me. And then it escalated from there.


They basically duked it out and it’s now officially over. They’re only staying together to put me through college, and probably only these first two years at community college.


I’ve been crying a lot, and raging and everything…I don’t have the phone anymore. so any of you who call me on it need to know not to call it anymore. It’s getting harder and harder to be happy at this point. I know I’ve told some of you this before, and I’m sure some of this is just like stuff I’ve said before. But you guys really have NO idea how hard it is for me to keep going t this point. It feels like I’m suffocating slowly. I just wanted you all to know this. It seems personal, but I want you to know because if I get moody and shit, you should know why it gets really bad sometimes. And why it will only get worse for awhile.


There are people who know who they are who mean quite a bit to me. And I just want to say you guys really do help keep me from falling apart. And I love you guys.



I’m updating this from the library since I still can’t get online from home until after dinner.

Like I said I’ll update my other journal with pics at somepoint soon. But I needed to get out of the house and since I managed to get a comp. at the library I figured I’d write this up, and was hoping it would make me feel better. Which…it didn’t really, only a bit. But it was worth a shot.